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Marco Polo

Where have I been? 

I really didn't want my blog or my social media page to be a temporary thing. When I received my diagnosis I refused to fall victim to it and I wanted to start my blog to raise awareness and to share my story. As always I told myself that I would probably fail, that nobody would care or that I, myself, would lose interest and quit. 

Surprisingly that is not what happened as I am still very invested towards my blog and my goals are the same. So what happened, where did I go? 

I had a moment of weakness, a very low few weeks mentally. I hit a dip and was really feeling the effects of my PTSD and depression. I was having constant flashbacks and feelings of worthlessness. I told myself "how do I think I am helping other people with my story and thoughts when I am still so broken?" 

So I stopped posting ... for a while 

I felt as though I could not help anybody if I am not helping myself. Then a few things dawned on me. Like a little ray of sunshine beaming down through clouds, and that ray of sunshine was called clarity. 
The first thing I realized was that I am, in fact, NOT BROKEN, I am a beautiful, strong, capable woman who is working daily to be a survivor. I AM A SURVIVOR. 
The second thing I realized was that having down days or weeks does not mean my story is not worthy or that I can not share it with people and inspire. My depression is part of the reason I started my blog and at any point in my healing, I can hit a dip, and that is also okay. 
The last thing I realized was that the point of my blog was not to be a savior of the broken, or to fix anybody (as many people with childhood trauma like to do) it was simply to share my feelings and experiences, whether that helps anybody or not. 

So I am hopefully back for a while, should I need to take time off for myself again I will because I am my first priority. However, I am pleased to say that I am out of my funk and in a better head space to keep writing and sharing my day to day nonsensical experiences with you all. 

It's great to be back. 
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